I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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