I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
