none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
whose parrot is this?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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