All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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