why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
