Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
