Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
