Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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