would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
