i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
