No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
