But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
