So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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