I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
