Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It was confusing and full of hummus
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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