so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize