i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
