i just had sex bonerless
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
