you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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