and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
