So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
