what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
