Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i think i have two assholes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
