btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
