if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
high people should be assigned attendants
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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