Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize