I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize