I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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