it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
