They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
