Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
