Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
