I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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