If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I love you. Go after that dick
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
