I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
