wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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