But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
