I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
