Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
