I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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