I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
