i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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