Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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