My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
