That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
