So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
