: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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