The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
