She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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