Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
