We're facebook friends in real life
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
