final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
