i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i love accidental penises.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
