is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm like, not good at living.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
