on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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