In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the day after is always just damage control
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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