I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
