And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
