I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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