Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
