I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
