I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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