life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
he shaved USA in his pubs
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
