would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
