what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
