Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
